Uncle Remus and Brer Rabbit — Inside the Classic

Rabbit had a mighty quick thinkin' apple-ratus, an' mos' inginner'lly, all de time, de pranks he played on de yuther creeturs pestered um bofe ways a-comin' an' a-gwine. De dogs done mighty well, 'long ez dey had dealin's wid de small fry, like Brer Fox, an' Brer Coon, an' Brer Wolf, but when dey run ag'in' ol' Brer B'ar, dey sho struck a snag. De mos' servigrous wuz de identual one dat got de wust hurted. He got too close ter Brer B'ar, an' when he look at hisse'f in runnin' water, he tuck notice dat he wuz split wide open fum flank ter dewlap.

"Atter de rucus wuz over, de creeturs hobbled off home de best dey could, an' laid 'roun' in sun an' shade fer ter let der cuts an' gashes git good an' well. When dey got so dey could segashuate, an' pay der party calls, dey 'gree fer ter insemble some'rs, an' hit on some plan fer ter outdo Brer Rabbit. Well, dey had der insembly, an' dey jower'd an' jower'd des like yo' pa do when he aint feelin' right well; but, bimeby, dey 'greed 'pon a plan dat look like it mought work. Dey 'gree fer ter make out dat dey gwine ter have a dance. Dey know'd dat ol' Brer Rabbit wuz allers keen fer dat, an' dey say dey'll gi' him a invite, an' when he got dar, dey'd ax 'im fer ter play de fiddle, an' ef he 'fuse, dey'll close in on 'im an' make way wid 'im.

"So fur, so good! But all de time dey wuz jowerin' an' confabbin', ol' Brer Rabbit wus settin' in a shady place in de grass, a-hearin' eve'y word dey say. When de time come, he crope out, he did, an' run 'roun', an' de fust news dey know'd, here he come down de big road--bookity-bookity--same ez a hoss dat's broke thoo de pastur' fence. He say, sezee, 'Why, hello, frien's! an' howdy, too, kaze I aint seed you-all sence de last time! Whar de name er goodness is you been deze odd-come-shorts? an' how did you far' at de bobbycue? Ef my two eyeballs aint gone an' got crooked, dar's ol' Brer B'ar, him er de short tail an' sharp tush--de ve'y one I'm a-huntin' fer! An' dar's Brer Coon! I sho is in big luck. Dar's gwineter be a big frolic at Miss Meadows', an' her an' de gals want Brer B'ar fer ter show um de roas'n'-y'ar shuffle; an' dey put Brer Coon down fer de jig dey calls rack-back-Davy.

"'I'm ter play de fiddle--sump'n I aint done sence my oldest gal had de mumps an' de measles, bofe de same day an' hour! Well, dis mornin' I tuck down de fiddle fum whar she wuz a-hangin' at, an' draw'd de bow backerds an' forerds a time er two, an' den I shot my eyes an' hit some er de ol'-time chunes, an' when I come ter myse'f, dar wuz my whole blessed fambly skippin' an' sasshayin' 'roun' de room, spite er de fack dat brekkus wuz ter be cooked!'

"Wid dat, Brer Rabbit bow'd, he did, an' went back down de road like de dogs wuz atter 'im."

"But what happened then?" the little boy asked. "Nothin' 't all," replied Uncle Remus, taking up the chuckle where he had left off. "De creeturs aint had no dance, an' when dey went ter Miss Meadows', she put her head out de winder, an' say ef dey don't go off fum dar she'll have de law on um!"

BROTHER BEAR'S BIG HOUSE

"Uv all de creeturs", said Uncle Remus, in response to a questioning took on the part of the little boy, "ol Brer B'ar had de biggest an' de warmest house. I dunner why ner wharfo', but I'm a-tellin' you de plain fack, des ez dey to!' it unter me. Ef I kin he'p it I never will be deceivin' you, ner lead you inter no bad habits. Yo' pappy trotted wid me a mighty long time, an' ef you'll ax him he'll tell you dat de one thing I never did do wuz ter deceive him whiles he had his eyes open; not ef I knows myse'f. Well, ol' Brer B'ar had de big house I'm a-tellin' you about. Ef he y'ever is brag un it, it aint never come down ter me. Yit dat's des what he had--a big house an' plenty er room fer him an' his fambly; an' he aint had mo' dan he need, kaze all er his fambly wuz fat an' had what folks calls heft--de nachal plunkness.

"He had a son name Simmon, an' a gal name Sue, not countin' his ol' 'oman, an' dey all live wid one an'er day atter day, an' night atter night; an' when one un um went abroad, dey'd be spected home 'bout meal-time, ef not befo', an' dey segashuated right along fum day ter day, washin' der face an' han's in de same wash-pan in de back po'ch, an' wipin' on de same towel same ez all happy famblies allers does.

"Well, time went on an' fotched de changes dat might be spected, an' one day dar come a mighty knockin' on Brer B'ar's do'. Brer B'ar, he holla out, he did. 'Who dat come a-knockin' dis time er de year, 'fo' de corn's done planted, er de cotton-crap's pitched?' De one at de do' make a big noise, an' rattle de hinges. Brer B'ar holla out, he did, 'Don't t'ar down my house! Who is you, anyhow, an' what you want?' An' de answer come, 'I'm one an' darfo' not two; ef youer mo' dan one, who is you an' what you doin' in dar?' Brer B'ar, he say, sezee, 'I'm all er one an' mighty nigh two, but I'd thank you fer ter tell me yo' full fambly name.' Den de answer come.

"'I'm de knocker an' de mover bofe, an' ef I can't clim' over I'll crawl under ef you do but gi' me de word. Some calls me Brer Polecat, an' some a big word dat it aint wuff while ter ermember, but I wanter move in. It's mighty col' out here, an' all I meets tells me it's mighty warm in dar whar you is.' Den ol' Brer B'ar say, sezee. 'It's warm nuff fer dem what stays in here, but not nigh so warm fer dem on de outside. What does you reely want?' Brer Polecat 'spon', he did, 'I wants a heap er things dat I don't git. I'm a mighty good housekeeper, but I takes notice dat dar's mighty few folks dat wants me ter keep house fer um.' Brer B'ar say, sezee, 'I aint got no room fer no housekeeper; we aint skacely got room fer ter go ter bed. Ef you kin keep my house on de outside, you er mighty welcome.'

"Brer Polecat say, 'You may think you aint got no room, but I bet you got des ez much room ez anybody what I know. Ef you let me in dar one time, I boun' you I'll make all de room I want.'"

Uncle Remus paused to see what effect this statement would have on the little boy. He closed his eyes, as though he were tired, but when he opened them again, he saw the faint shadow of a smile on the child's face. "'Taint gwine ter hurt you fer ter laugh a little bit, honey. Brer Polecat come in Brer B'ar's house, an' he had sech a bad breff dat dey all hatter git out--an' he stayed an' stayed twel time stopped runnin' ag'in' him."

BRER RABBIT TREATS THE CREETURS TO A RACE

One sultry summer day, while the little boy was playing not far from Uncle Remus's cabin, a heavy black cloud made its appearance in the west, and quickly obscured the sky. It sent a brisk gale before it, as if to clear the path of leaves and dust. Presently there was a blinding flash of lightning, a snap and a crash, and, with that, the child took to his heels, and ran to Uncle Remus, who was standing in his door. "Dar now!" he exclaimed, before the echoes of the thunder had rolled away, "Dat dust an' win', an' rain, puts me in mind er de time when ol' Brer Rabbit got up a big race fer ter pleasure de yuther creeturs. It wuz de mos' funniest race you ever hear tell on. Brer Rabbit went 'way off in de woods twel he come ter de Rainmaker's house. He knocked an' went in, an' he ax de Rainmaker ef he can't fix it up so dey kin have a race 'tween Brer Dust an' Cousin Rain, fer ter see which kin run de fastes'. De Rainmaker growled an' jowered, but bimeby he 'gree, but he say that ef 'twuz anybody but Brer Rabbit, he wouldn't gi' it but one thunk.

"Well, dey fix de day, dey did, an' den Brer Rabbit put out ter whar de creeturs wuz stayin' at, an' tol' um de news. Dey dunner how Brer Rabbit know, but dey all wanter see de race. Now, him an' de Rainmaker had fixt it up so dat de race would be right down de middle er de big road, an' when de day come, dar's whar he made de creeturs stan'--Brer B'ar at de bend er de road, Brer Wolf a leetle furder off, an' Brer Fox at a p'int whar de cross-roads wuz. Brer Coon an' Brer Possum an' de yuthers be scattered about up an' down de Road.

"Ter dem what has ter wait, it seem like de sun stops an' all de clocks wid 'im. Brer B'ar done some growlin'; Brer Wolf some howlin' an' Brer Possum some laughin'; but atter while a cloud come up fum some'rs. 'Twant sech a big cloud, but Brer Rabbit know'd dat Cousin Rain wuz in dar 'long wid Uncle Win'. De cloud crope up, it did, twel it got right over de big road, an' den it kinder drapped down a leetle closer ter de groun'. It look like it kinder stop, like a buggy, fer Cousin Rain ter git out, so der'd be a fa'r start. Well, he got out, kaze de creeturs kin see 'im, an' den Uncle Win', he got out.

"An' den, gentermens! de race begun fer ter commence. Uncle Win' hep'd um bofe; he had his bellows wid 'im, an' he blow'd it! Brer Dust got up fum whar he wuz a-layin' at, an' come down de road des a-whirlin'. He stricken ol' Brer B'ar fust, den Brer Wolf, an' den Brer Fox, an' atter dat, all de yuther creeturs, an' it come mighty nigh smifflicatin' um! Not never in all yo' born days is you y'ever heern sech coughin' an' sneezin', sech snortin' an' wheezin'! An' dey all look like dey wuz painted red. Brer B'ar sneeze so hard dat he hatter lay down in de road, an' Brer Dust come mighty nigh buryin' 'im, an' 'twuz de same wid de yuther creeturs--dey got der y'ears, der noses, an' der eyeses full.

"An' den Cousin Rain come 'long, a-pursuin' Brer Dust, an' he come mighty nigh drownin' um. He left um kivver'd wid mud, an' dey wuz wuss off dan befo'. It wuz de longest 'fo' dey kin git de mud out 'n der eyes an' y'ears, an' when dey git so dey kin see a leetle bit, dey tuck notice dat Brer Rabbit, stidder bein' full er mud, wuz ez dry ez a chip, ef not dryer.

"It make um so mad, dat dey all put out atter 'im, an' try der level best fer ter ketch, but ef dey wuz anything in de roun' worl' dat Brer Rabbit's got, it's soople foots, an' 'twant no time 'fo' de yuther creeturs can't see ha'r ner hide un 'im! All de same Brer Rabbit aint bargain fer ter have two races de same day."

"But, Uncle Remus," said the little boy, "which beat, Brother Dust or Cousin Rain?" The old man stirred uneasily in his chair, and rubbed his chin with his hand. "Dey tells me," he responded cautiously, "dat when Cousin Rain can't see nothin' er Brother Dust, he thunk he am beat, but he holla out, 'Brer Dust, wharbouts is you?' an' Brer Dust he holla back, 'You'll hatter scuzen me; I fell down in de mud an' can't run no mo'!'"

BRER RABBIT'S FLYING TRIP

Dar once wuz a time when most er de creeturs Got mighty tired er Brer Rabbit's capers, An' dey 'semble', dey did, grass an' meat eaters. Browsers an' grazers, an' likewiss de bone-scrapers, Fer ter see what dey kin do.

Brer B'ar wuz dar, wid his bid fur suit on, An' ol' Brer Wolf fetched his big howl along, An' when eve'ything wuz ready, wid a long, loud hoot on, Here come ol' Simon Swamp Owl along, A-tootin' of his too-whoo.

Dar wuz ol' Brer Fox, suh, wid his black socks, suh, An' a heap er creeturs dat I don't hatter mention; Some bow-legged an' some knock-kneed in de hocks, suh. An' dey all agree fer ter hol' a convention Fer ter stop Brer Rabbit's pranks.

Brer Fox, he 'low he'll gi' a pot er gol', suh, Ter de man what kin tol Brer Rabbit off, suh; Brer Buzzard say, "I'm a-gittin' ol', suh, But I'll try my han," an' den he cough, suh. An' de rest un um bowed dere thanks.

Now, ol' Brer B'ar wuz a-settin' in de cheer, suh, So he stand up an' move a motion; He up an' 'low, "Le's erso'v right here, suh, Fer ter thank Brer Buzzard whiles we're in de notion, An' not put it off ter some yuther day."

An' den dey had it up an' down, suh, 'Sputin' 'bout what dey oughter do, Some wanter gi' 'im a flower crown, suh, Ef he rid Brer Rabbit up dar in de blue, An' drap 'im when he got half-way.

Dey sont a runner atter ol' Brer Rabbit Ter ax 'im ter call an' 'ten' de convention; But ol' frien' Wobble-nose had a quare habit Er knowin' a thing befo' it wuz mention', An he come 'fo' he got de word.

He wiggle his nose, an' wunk his eye-- "Here sho is de man I wants ter see, suh! Brer Buzzard I'm tryin' ter l'arn how ter fly!" An' c'ose Brer Buzzard gi' his agree, suh, An' all un um say he's a 'commydatin' bird!

An' den Brer Buzzard half spread his wing, suh He try ter look young, but he wuz ol' suh-- He try ter strut an' walk wid a swing, suh; He wuz dreamin' 'bout dat pot er gol', suh, An' what he wuz gwine fer ter buy.

Brer Buzzard ain't skacely got thoo wid his pride, suh, 'Fo' Brer Rabbit lit right 'tween his floppers, Wid, "Now, hump yo'se'f, an' gi' me a ride, suh, Ef you don't I'll hit--I'll hit you some whoppers When I git you up dar in de sky!"

Well, de creeturs grinned when Brer Buzzard riz, suh. An' made a big fuss accordin' ter der natur'; Ez fer ol' Brer Rabbit, de pleasure wuz all his, suh De ridin' wuz easy ez eatin' tater When it's b'iled an' made inter pie!

Kaze under bofe wings he had a paw, suh, An', when Brer Buzzard try fer ter drap 'im. He'd scratch an' tickle 'im wid his claw, suh; An' when Brer Buzzard try fer ter flap 'im, He'd scratch an' wink his eye!

An' wid his claws he tuck an' steered 'im Fum post ter pillar in de deep blue, suh; He'd holla an' laugh--all de creeturs heer'd 'im-- You know how you'd feel ef it hab been you, suh, A-waitin' fer some un ter fall!

When ol' Brer Rabbit got tired er ridin', He steered Brer Buzzard right straight ter de groun', suh, An' den an' dar went right inter hidin'. When de creeturs come up he couldn't be foun', suh, An' I speck an' I reckon dat's all!

BRER RABBIT AND THE GOLD MINE

There had been silence in the cabin for a long ten minutes, and Uncle Remus, looking up, saw a threat of sleep in the little boy's eyes. Whereupon he plunged headlong into a story without a word of explanation.

"Well, suh, one year it fell out dat de craps wuz burnt up. A dry drouth had done de work, an' ef you'd 'a' struck a match anywhar in dat settlement, de whole county would 'a' blazed up. Ol' man Hongriness des natchally tuck of his cloze an' went paradin' 'bout eve'ywhar, an' de creeturs got bony an' skinny. Ol' Brer B'ar done better dan any un um, kaze all he hatter do wuz go ter sleep an' live off'n his own fat; an' Brer Rabbit an' his ol' 'oman had put some calamus root by, an' saved up some sugar-cane dat dey fin' lyin' 'roun' loose, an' _dey_ got 'long purty well. But de balance er de creeturs wuz dat ga'nt dat dey ain't got over it down ter dis day.

"De creeturs had der meetin'-place, whar dey could all set 'roun' an' talk de kind er politics dey had, des like folks does at de cross-roads grocery. One day, whiles dey wuz all settin' an' squottin' 'roun', jowerin' an' confabbin', Brer Rabbit, he up 'n' say, sezee, dat ol' Mammy-Bammy-Big-Money tol' his great gran'daddy dat dar wuz a mighty big an' fat gol' mine in deze parts, an' he say dat he wouldn't be 'tall 'stonished ef 'twant some'rs close ter Brer B'ar's house. Brer B'ar, he growled, he did, an' say dat de gol' mine better not let him fin' it, kaze atter he got done wid it, dey won't be no gol' mine dar.

"Some laughed, some grinned an' some gapped, an', atter jowerin' some mo', dey all put out ter whar der famblies wuz livin' at; but I boun' you dey ain't fergit 'bout dat gol' mine, kaze, fum dat time on, go whar you mought, you'd ketch some er de creeturs diggin' an' grabblin' in de groun', some in de fields, some in de woods, an' some in de big road; an' dey wuz so weak an' hongry dat dey kin skacely grabble fer fallin' down.

"Well, dis went on fer de longest, but bimeby, one day, dey all 'gree dat sump'n bleeze ter be done, an' dey say dey'll all take one big hunt fer de gol' mine, an' den quit. Dey hunted in gangs, wid de gangs not fur fum one an'er, an' it so happen dat Brer Rabbit wuz in de gang wid Brer Wolf, an' he know'd dat he hatter keep his eyes wide open. All de creeturs hatter dig in diffunt places, an' whiles Brer Rabbit want much uv a grabbler, he had a way er makin' de yuthers b'lieve dat he wuz de best er de lot. So he made a heap er motion like he wuz t'arin' up de yeth. Dey ain't been gwine on dis away long fo' Brer Wolf holler out,

"'Run here, Brer Rabbit! I done foun' it!' Brer B'ar an' Brer Fox wuz bofe diggin' close by, an' Brer Rabbit kinder wunk one eye at de elements; he say, sezee, 'Glad I is fer yo' sake, Brer Wolf; git yo' gol' an' 'joy yo'se'f!' Brer Wolf say, 'Come git some, Brer Rabbit! Come git some!' Ol' Brer Rabbit 'spon', 'I'll take de leavin's, Brer Wolf; you take what you want, an' den when you done got 'nough I'll get de leetle bit I want.' Brer Wolf say, 'I wanter show you sump'n.' Brer Rabbit 'low, 'My eyes ain't big fer nothin'.' Brer Wolf say, 'I got a secret I wanter tell you.' Brer Rabbit 'low, 'My y'ears ain't long fer nothin'. Des stan' dar an' do yo' whisperin', Brer Wolf, an' I'll hear eve'y word you say.'

"Brer Wolf ain't say nothin', but make out he's grabblin', an' den, all of a sudden, he made a dash at Brer Rabbit, but when he git whar Brer Rabbit wuz at, Brer Rabbit ain't dar no mo'; he done gone. Weak an' hongry ez he is, Brer Wolf know dat he can't ketch Brer Rabbit, an' so he holler out, 'What's yo' hurry, Brer Rabbit? Whar you gwine?' Brer Rabbit holler back, 'I'm gwine home atter a bag fer ter tote de gol' you gwine leave me! So long, Brer Wolf; I wish you mighty well!' an' wid dat he put out fer home."

BRER RABBIT GETS BRER FOX A HOSS